This week’s Music Monday video serves two purposes. First, if you haven’t seen it, it’s comedic gold. I don’t know who to appreciate most – the cast and amazing crew that nailed the shoot or Mumford & Sons for having the guts to poke fun at themselves. Go ahead and watch it right now if you want. But if you do, promise me you will listen again with your eyes closed when you are finished reading.
Yesterday at church I had the honor of singing this same song, “Hopeless Wanderer”, at Keystone.
It was appropriate. My journey to faith, even marriage and parenthood, hasn’t been a direct path. Heck, even surviving my twenties happened by accident with more twists and turns than you could write into the next “Scream”sequel. (I love October Movie Season)
It’s the last line of the song that rings most true for me.
“I will learn to love the skies I wander.”
Parenthood is never something that you have figured out.
Kym was away on a retreat this past weekend and I had the two girls overnight. Harper is nearly 3 and Kyle is a couple of months old now. I did the #ddtime thing (be sure to use that on social media with us and check in on other Dads). We built a fort and got special snacks for the movie Harper picked. We stayed up a little later, played a little more, and had a few less restrictions than a normal day, but we stayed within reason. I am hesitant to make Dad any more cool than Mom. But both of us get a little liberty when the other is away. It creates some special bonding time and fun memories.
But even in those moments, where I am very much in my element, things unravel. I set a clear path. I plan certain things. I try to dictate how things will play out and even with the very best of intentions, I end up feeling like we are WAY off track. I am purposefully moving in a direction but end up wandering aimlessly. It can be frustrating.
The outfit I picked out, Harper didn’t want to wear. My feeding plan for Kyle did not match her needs. The movie I hoped we would watch as a family got vetoed. My deliberate attempt to have us lying down at “bedtime” was long delayed. My snack plan didn’t quite align with the order of pajamas, potty, and brushing teeth.
Just a few of these could drive you batty. Yet, when one thing goes, it feels like everything goes. So then if you let it get to you, the moments you had tried so hard to plan can stop being enjoyable.
…unless you learn to love the skies you wander.
At some point that night, in my fort that looked NOTHING like I wanted it to, I submitted to allowing the night to be what it was going to be. I decided if Harper wanted a pile of blankets instead of my elaborate fortress, then I was going to make sure she had the best pile of blankets we could find. I stopped trying to coerce my youngest daughter to eat on my schedule and I just enjoyed tending to her when she needed me. Instead of forcing one of MY childhood movies on the girls to invite them into a shared childhood experience, I just pretended that Pocahontas is really entertaining. (It’s not).
You get the idea.
Parenthood is much less about things going your way, but more about enjoying the process. It is great to have intentionality as a Dad, but kids will take you off course. You are bound to wander. You might even feel hopeless.
The decision to enjoy the wandering is the difference. Make that choice.
Jim Davis is a contributing writer at Daddy Daughter Time featured weekly on “Music Mondays.” He is a the proud father to 2 daughters, Harper and Kyle. After 20 years of trumpet playing and 7 years teaching middle and high school band, Jim now leads music at Keystone Community Church. His posts aren’t always about specific songs or artists, but music has shaped who he is and he has long said that.
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